Shades of Leadership

Where Leadership Begins

There are so many people out there trying to save the world. It’s a noble idea, and God only knows there seem to be a few things that need to be fixed.  But do you ever wonder why we have so much trouble getting it done? Over the past few years I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about leadership and change, and have developed some thoughts on why some people inspire, and others don’t.  When it comes to the problems we seem to have in saving the world, I believe the issue is simple.  We haven’t started in the right place.

I had the extraordinary privilege last year to meet His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  I was part of a group who attended “Connecting for Change Dialogue” which was hosted by the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education in Vancouver.  When asked about how we change the world, the Dalai Lama, in his customary manner, answered very simply: “Whether or not we are successful depends on the order of change.  Change happens first with the self, then with the family, and then with a nation”.    

How very true that is!  As I reflect on the countless programs I’ve attended on leadership, all of them seem to deal with how to get others to do what you want them to do.  How to communicate with them, how to train them, how to follow up, reward and measure their achievements.  It’s all about how to change someone else’s behaviors.  Seldom did any programs deal with the self – and how internally prepared an individual is to lead.  I think that only when we understand our own motivations can we expect to sustain our impact in a leadership position.

Having personal commitment is essential for inspiring others

If we don’t sort out what our real drivers are, our motives can get in the way of our ability to succeed. For example, if you’re serving on the board of a not-for-profit organization for the sole purpose of building a professional resume, you will likely be someone who merely shows up at a few meetings, but can’t be counted on to give more of your time to the cause. But if the reason you serve is because you have been personally moved to action through a life-changing experience, you are more willing to spend your time and energy in working for the organization.  You started the change with yourself before trying to influence others.

The same applies in the corporate world.  Everyone can pick out a boss who isn’t for real.  We all know people who talk the party line, but their actions don’t show true commitment.  They’re going through the motions, and not being authentic.  People may follow them for awhile, but over time, they’ll get bored.  Rhetoric and flowery presentations can only go so far, but over time, people see through political agendas and self-promoting activities, and they move on.  Only those who are personally committed really make a lasting impact.

So what can we do to achieve this level of comfort with ourselves?  On a regular basis, make a conscious effort to spend some quiet time reflecting rather than reacting.  Be honest about your true motivations, and uncover what you really believe in.  Rely on the things that you have always known – your upbringing, your faith, your values and beliefs.  Does what you’re doing really matter to you?  Are you truly passionate about everything you do?

The Dalai Lama is right.  We are only inspired by people who demonstrate a personal commitment.  We want our leaders to care, to feel and to demonstrate their passion.  It begins with us – before we move on any further.  

 

Get out of your comfort zone!

One of the biggest mistakes made by leaders is allowing themselves to get too comfortable. I’m not talking about office space, perks or money here – although that might be indicative of the issue.  I’m talking about the importance of forcing ourselves outside of our comfort zone to listen, learn, and grow to increase the ability to lead and inspire more people.

When people hold leadership positions, it is easy to be lulled into a sense of complacency and comfort.  They can surround themselves with people who they know, styles with which they are familiar, and develop systems of communications that come naturally to them.  It’s human nature.  Whether you’re putting together a team at work, selecting volunteers for a fundraiser, or choosing students for a school project, we all have a natural bias to choose people who act and think like us.  But I propose that in moments requiring great leadership, those who have consciously forced themselves out of their comfort zone by inviting differing views and having different experiences will emerge more successfully.

We’ve all seen it.  There are executives who regularly surround themselves with cadres of buddies, make decisions behind closed doors, and then wonder why their plans never seem to work.  They blame the organization for failure to execute when they should realize it’s their own failure to connect.  When they’re faced with a crisis, they put their head in the sand, or worse yet, if someone is stupid enough to put them in front of a camera, they look totally out of their element.  If the first time you get out of your comfort zone is when you’re in front of a camera, the result can be disastrous. 

 

Leaders don’t trivialize what they don’t know

If you’re planning a trip to a foreign country, you’d never dream of going without investigating the language and the culture.  You know you’re going to be outside of your comfort zone, so you head to the local bookstore and pick up a travel guide to your destination, or search the internet for resources.  Once armed with this information, you’re ready to tackle a new and exciting experience.  So why is this principle so hard to apply when it comes to some aspects of leadership?  When do people lose the initiative to look for help and ask people with different perspectives and experiences? 

I contend that in certain environments, it’s a sign of weakness to admit what we aren’t good at. Instead, we marginalize those topics, and make them seem unimportant.  Do you know business executives who consider HR work unimportant?  How about intellectuals who think business people are all unethical and greedy?  Opinions like this “hardwire” the biases of our comfort zone, and cause leaders to marginalize things that they don’t understand.  The “If I don’t do it, it must not be important” attitude keeps leaders solidly in a comfort zone, and signals to a culture the areas he/she thinks are most valuable. 

 

Leaders look for challenge to stay “fit”

In order to get or stay in shape, we have to work our muscles.  You can’t improve your tennis game unless you play against someone better than you are.  We know that when it comes to physical health, it pays to experience the burn.  No pain, no gain!  But when it comes to leadership, we sometimes look for the breaks. 

I recently spoke with a teacher who was complaining about a bad student.  He said, “It would be so much easier if this kid would just be serious”.  It’s funny, isn’t it?  Because as I see it, any teacher can work with a good student!  The best teachers are the ones who can figure out how to turn the unmotivated kid into one who is.  This guy needs to invest the time, get out of his comfort zone, and figure out how to connect with someone different!  Once successful, he will be surprised at how many “new wonderful students” he’ll be able to inspire!

 

So there I’ll leave it. Great leaders show the ability to stretch, learn, and grow their experience.  Staying in the comfort zone is an inhibitor to strong leadership.  Get out of it today!

 

Looking for Leaders

I've thought often about writing a book.  Even started on one.  But then realized it's a huge commitment to do something I've never even come close to doing.  The idea of writing an entire book having never written more than a research paper for school or a memo for work seemed too big a step.  So I decided to try this medium, and see if anyone found it interesting.  If it works, who knows....maybe that book idea isn't too far off.  But in the meantime, let's explore together, and share thoughts on leadership.

As I go through my rather schizophrenic world of being a corporate director, a volunteer, an advisor, a mother, a caregiver to a parent, and a wife, I see signs of leadership in every direction I look.  Leaders exist everywhere.  People strive to become leaders.  They spend years in school, go through countless hours of training, and pay advisors great sums of money to learn the skills.  But hard as they try, some never get there.  Because leadership isn't something you achieve. It's something that's bestowed upon you by those who find you inspiring.

I hope through this blog to share my thoughts on where I see leaders emerge.  I'll talk about the authentic actions that I see them take that inspire others to move.  I'll reflect on the difficulties our society places on people who step out of a comfort zone in the interest of doing the right thing.  I hope you'll join me and share your thoughts.  Because after all, leadership is also about learning from each other, and never feeling like you have all the answers.

Interested?