Shades of Leadership

Caring Leadership

We hear about leaders every day.  We read about them in newspapers, listen to them give speeches, and admire them in group gatherings.  But this holiday I thought I’d take some time and acknowledge a group of unsung heroes in my book -- those who give selflessly every day in support of those who need assistance.  To many, these people go unnoticed.  To folks like me, they are truly appreciated.  I’m talking about professional caregivers who help individuals – many of them senior citizens who live in a world that can seem too complex and oftentimes too lonely.

Our mobile society today creates frequent situations of family members living far away from one another.  As people are living longer, more often than not elderly members of the family live alone or far away from natural family caregivers.  The proliferation of independent living communities gives an opportunity for seniors to continue an active lifestyle with little to no assistance from others.  But over time, as people migrate into lifestyles requiring more assistance, either due to physical or cognitive impairment, the need for an emerging population of professional caregiver arises.

Caregivers of those with chronic disease are a special breed of leaders.  For the most part, these are not people who have tremendously advanced college degrees.  Most of them have nursing training and hold licenses as either Certified Nurse Assistants or Patient Care Assistants.  The one common trait I’ve found they all possess is a high level of compassion and patience for those who are less fortunate – a quality that is often lacking in more popular or admired leadership roles in our society.

If leadership is defined by one’s ability to inspire and move others to action, these people are high on the scale.  They don’t do it for fame or money.  On the contrary, they choose a profession that puts them in the direct path of discomfort and uneasiness (that many people try to avoid) in order bring comfort and ease to those who need it most. They cook, they clean, and they assist in personal needs. They spend time keeping people company, ask them about their families, and often serve as the highlight of someone’s day.  Caregivers approach each day with a sense of duty and empathy driven by intrinsic motivation founded in faith and love for a fellow human being. 

As leadership is “taught” and “mentored” in classrooms and workplaces around the world, we hear the word “passion” mentioned quite often.  But as I think more about it, I believe we need to balance talk of “passion” with the related word, “compassion”.  The subtle difference between these two words is what makes them equally important.  Passion is demonstrated; compassion is felt.  Passion can be about an idea or concept; compassion requires interaction with another living thing. Leaders today need to take a page out of the book of caregiving to understand the power and impact of “compassion” when dealing with difficult situations or people.  It humanizes us – and makes us think of one another as equals.

This holiday season I take time to salute those who give so selflessly to those who deserve to feel loved.  Thanks to all of my caregiving friends, for demonstrating an aspect of leadership that I so highly admire.

 

Emerging Leaders

I seem to spend quite a lot of time around teenagers.  Between my kids’ friends and my volunteer work at school, I see a lot of today’s youth and notice how they deal with things going on in their lives.  And as I watch these kids interact and form friendships, I can’t help but notice qualities of leadership that many of them possess.

Leadership qualities begin to emerge at very young age, and are encouraged and nurtured by parents, teachers, and role models with whom kids come into contact.  Kids naturally gravitate toward people they admire, and begin exhibiting behaviors that they believe are admirable.  That’s why it’s so important for kids to have adults around who can guide them and demonstrate leadership.

There are distinctive qualities that I find impressive in some of the kids I see today….and qualities that I think will bode them well as they head into roles of increased responsibility.  Here are some that particularly impress me:

 

Courtesy and attention

It sounds simple, but there’s nothing more impressive than being around a courteous kid.  This includes but goes beyond the “please” and “thank you” that we’re all taught at an early age.  Young kids who make a point to actually make eye contact with you and indicate a genuine interest in what you’re talking about are tremendously impressive.  Sounds simple, but having the ability to make eye contact, hold a conversation and make the other person feel important is a leadership skill that few kids (and adults for that matter) really possess. Kids who understand the power of the words, “What can I do to help” demonstrate an understanding of teamwork and fellowship that are so important in leadership roles.  The willingness to “roll up the sleeves” and pitch in are vitally important as they head into positions of greater responsibility.

 

Inclusion skills

I’m always impressed by kids who possess the ability to sense when someone is being left out or excluded.  Recognizing the importance of a gesture of friendship toward someone who is being ignored goes a long way.  A lot of kids today are too consumed in their own world to notice others.  They don’t mean any harm, but they haven’t developed good “antennae” to sense when others are being left out.  Having good peripheral vision is an important trait of leadership – and it’s a skill that I see some naturally seem to have, and others have to learn.

 

Standing their ground

I love it when kids who know what they stand for.  The ones who are willing to take an uncomfortable position to either stake their position or, better yet, defend someone else who is doing the same are tremendously impressive.  It’s tough to risk being “uncool” during the teenage years, and in many circles the stigma of not going to a party, not partaking in drugs/alcohol, or turning down the option to stay out late due to an important event the next day is tough for some kids to handle.  Those who choose at an early age to stand firm on what they believe in exhibit an important leadership skill of being willing to be uncomfortable to do what’s right.

 

Follow through

Kids who understand the impact of living up to promises at a young age have a leadership head-start.  Teenagers, I think, are naturally optimistic, and so there is a tendency to overpromise, and then fail to deliver due to other commitments they’ve made.  This can be as simple as being on time to a committed event or as complex as following through on a community service project.  Being willing to take the time to “deliver” on a promise is something kids who have hopes of leadership need to work into their habits. 

 

If you haven’t done so recently, spend some time working with teenagers.  Volunteer at a local youth group, high school, or just spend time with your kids/grandkids at that age.  They are an inspirational group of people, and bound to make you feel a sense of hope for the future.  We all remember adults who were there to guide us when we were their age.  Now we get a chance to play that important role for the next generation!