I had breakfast yesterday with four other women -- all of us associated with the same company. Three of us are directors on the board, and the other two were the top two women in the company. We three directors arrived early for a board meeting, and thought it was a great opportunity to meet up with the two female executives to have “mentoring breakfast” before the meeting began.
Not surprisingly, a particularly wonderful conversation ensued that I believe could ONLY happen with a group of women. In fact, I shared this with a fellow board colleague who is male, and he confirmed that the conversation wouldn’t possibly have taken place in this manner had all five attendees been men. The order of conversation topics went like this: (1) How are the kids doing? (2) How are you taking care of yourselves and your relationship? (3) What are you doing on the subject of professional networking? All three questions led to a sharing of ideas, frustrations and joys, and mutual advice and encouragement. We left with a series of “to do’s” and mental notes to follow up for continued support and guidance, with the two younger executives knowing they had three professional moms/wives/directors who knew what they were going through.
At the conclusion of our breakfast, the five of us made an interesting observation. We managed to dismiss the traditional categorization of work/life balance by speaking of only one thing: Life. Indeed, the best mentoring conversations draw attention to the whole person. How we choose to channel our professional talents, impart wisdom and experience on our children, and find happiness amidst the stresses associated with all of our responsibilities are so tremendously interwoven. As mentors, we need to provide support and guidance on all of these aspects for people aspiring to achieve positions of leadership.
We reflected on this after our breakfast, and realized that had the five of us been men, the conversation most certainly would have been very different. The topic of kids might never have emerged, and seldom do men consider the subject of “taking care of yourself” a comfortable topic in a professional mentoring context. Yet we all know that as leaders, it is imperative for individuals to be well grounded in their intellectual, emotional, and physical selves. Only when all of these pillars are solid can we expect to have leaders who are in the best frame of mind to inspire and motivate.
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